On the first day of my retirement I started as I meant to go on, with LOTS of Taiji. Five of us ladies went with Shifu to the Milun 2024 Summer Camp on Chongming Island just two hours out of Shanghai City Centre. My happy place!

It was a time to unwind, destress, practice Taiji, Qi Gong and focus on going forwards.

Every morning we do early morning exercises in the rose garden. This year we were focusing on the Five Elements Qi Gong routine devised by our Shifu. Each set of moves is based on an element which is then associated with one of our organs. We stretch our the meridians for that organ to promote overall health in that particular part of the body but it is also good for overall wellbeing.

The days all follow a fmailiar routine. After a delicious breakfast we do 20 – 30 minutes of standing meditaion outside.

Then its time to practice our movements. This can vary from honing some of the Taiji moves or applications to practing Xing Yi or the sword (in my case)

XiLai where was stay, is a farm as well as accommodation so we always have the freshest organic food straight from the garden.

After lunch and a siesta we move to the little house by the lake to eascape from the intense heat of the afternoon. Here we do a variety of different activities including

I was asked to give a talk about the Tao which I made as interactive as I could with a bit of a talk at the beginning

… followed by some practical exercises. Everyone was given some pictures to contemplate and return with their ideas. It was extremely productive with a very lively debate ensuing.

We drink chinese tea and I have been practicing my tea ceremony skills.

Shifu is always challenging and stretching me. This year he asked me to teach Push Hands to one of the beginners. Push Hands is often played competitevely in Taiji circles but in our class we do it as an exchange of energy. Shifu and I practice every time I have a lesson and it is very enjoyable, however I have never actually tried to teach anyone else so this was a new experience for me. Beginners cannot feel their qi much yet, so Push Hands can be quite difficult both to learn and to teach. Often the Master can have sore shoulders in the beginning as you are working directly against the other person’s muscles so you have to do self healing afterwards. This was a very valuable lesson for me.

After dinner we do an hour of zen walking. As it is summer there are mosquitos around at that time of day so we wear special protective mesh jackets. They make us look a little weird but they are effective. Zen walking is different for each of us as we all have individual needs. It is very calming and peaceful to focus just on walking in a particular way. Apologies about the photo quality.

Then we come to my favorite part of the day. The moonlight meditation. We sit cross legged on the decking beside the lake for 20 minutes of seated meditation listening to the cicadas chirruping and the occasional fish splashing out of the water. Then we lie back and look at the stars. It is blissful. A time to contemplate one’s place in the universe and to appreciate creation. The moon this week has been gorgeous against the velvety night sky.

I have spent some time this week focussing on my kneeling meditation

Everybody is on their own journey and at different stages but after only five days it is true to say that each of us has improved, and some people improved massively which was gratifying to see. Taiji can help people in so many different and diverse ways. I am excited to bring some of this knowledge back with me to the UK to help people at home too.

What an appropraite quote for the title of this blog. Since 2017 I have been keeping a record of our adventures as we have lived worked and travelled abroad. I have made 198 entries and now I come to the hardest one to write. One that I have been avoiding because this is the end of the adventures.

Today was a very hard day because it was my last day at school… Concordia… work. For ever. Today I retired and must hang up my date stamp. Today I had to say goodbye to many amazing people, colleagues and good friends. But first, I need to back track a little and explain myself.

This year has been an incredibly hard year for me. I havent blogged about it at all becasue it has been very stressful. At the beginning of the year, I started with a new line manager and a new Elementary School Principal. She was the Assistant Principal last year and I suspected that things were going to change but boy, what a change she made. As I am getting quite long in the tooth, I have noticed over my career that some new leaders feel that they need to be ‘new brooms’ and need to establish ‘their’ way of doing things. Some, particularly inexperienced leaders do this with such force and gusto that they can often sweep the baby out with the bathwater. This is what happened here.

I was recruited to do a job that I had done very happily and sucessfully for 4 years. Then BAM, this year on day #2 of orientation, I was told that my job was changing underneath me. Again, with all my experience as a manager at the University of Cumbria, I know that there are effective ways to manage change and there are ways which do not work. This was a brand new administrator who was power hungry and thought that simply by being in a position of authority she could do exactly what she wanted, how she wanted. I have subsequently learned that she acted with the full support of the Head of School because he also wanted change Concordia into a cutting edge beacon of technology.

And so, I was forcibly told that I was no longer to support literacy through the library, but that I was to teach research skills in the classroom only. No more read alouds, no more book promotions, no more reader advisory or interaction with the children to recommend books to them. This wasn’t what I went into the job for.

I had to plan a whole year’s worth of brand new longer lessons with effectively zero notice and minuscule amounts of planning time. These lessons all had to be collaborative team teaching (not something I had done before) and only a few teachers actually contributed ideas. At the same time as all that new stuff I was to research Information Literacy Standards to hang the lessons from… it was a challenge. To cap it all, I was told that all my lessons had to be digital! It was clear to me that my job had changed overnight to that of a Digital Media Specialist.

This was quite a shift for me, at my age. This was a world that I had not been trained for or felt comfortable in. I am a books person and believe in the power of print.

A good leader would have notified me of the school’s changing direction and proposed the new way of working for the year ahead, asked me if I wanted to apply for the upcoming renewal and supported me if I did etc etc. Not, do this RIGHT NOW! I sat in some extremely uncomfortable meetings where I was grilled and even asked ‘do you want this job?’ I replied that I was willing to try. Nevertheless, the way which I was dealt with by the new Principal in the first weeks of this year was tantamount to bullying. I felt targeted, unsupported and vey unhappy. It was an extremely stressful time for me.

I was, however, not alone. There were several of us who at that time, received the same (and sometimes worse) treatment. One colleague said that they felt that they had gone from being a respected and valued member of staff to someone who needed intense micromanagement, which felt degrading.

The new Principal in her naivety managed through a system of ‘favoritism’. If you were her ‘friend’ you got everything you wanted. Some of us were deliberately targeted and made to feel like failures while everyone else in the middle could see what was happening and just kept their heads down, not wanting to be on either list.

This was such a change from the loving, caring, supportive Christian school which had welcomed me back in 2019. It is quite telling that the new Principal is not a Christian and was recruited during COVID when it was difficult to get staff into the country and she moved to us from another school within China.

In the 4th week of the school year I had my appraisal setting meeting with me new line manager on a Wednesday and all went well. So it was a HUGE SHOCK when on the Friday I was served with a Stage 3 PIP. This is a Performance Improvement Plan and necessitates very rigorous monitoring to eradicate serious professional deficiencies!!! I did not believe that I had been ‘deficient’ so I refused to sign. This was a massive red flag as to how the new regime was going to treat me. The policy was not even adhered to as I had no written warnings, no evidence presented of any wrongdoing and no opportunity for informal stages of improvement. At the same time I also received my CKD Stage 3 diagnosis (see previous blog) and I realized that all this stress at work was just compounding my health issues.

This situation was not ideal so two days later I handed in my resignation. My line manager at the time said that he thought I could do the new job. I agreed but said that I didn’t want to work with someone who treats me the way the new Principal did. He agreed. He could see that I was being bullied but was unable/ unwilling to challenge it.

The Principal did in fact back off a bit once she knew that I was leaving. She focused her energies on getting her ‘friend’ recruited… but in that respect the rest of the year was slightly easier for me.

Others were starting to also make complaints about the new Principal but it was all to no avail because the new Head of HR was also a problem and in a shocking move in February of this year she was sacked by the Board of Governors, along with her husband, the Middle School Principal. It has been quite a tumultuous year all round.

Back in the library I was attempting to do the new work but not really enjoying it. In my heart I am a book person who believes in print, literacy and promoting reading for pleasure. My library colleagues around the world have been amazingly supportive and given me lesson plans for this different approach and some of those have worked well. Suffice to say that I have been stretched and extremely busy, not least because in a separate reorganization 5th Grade was added to my workload!

Many kids, parents and teachers still wanted to hear stories read aloud and so I tried to supplement the new stuff with the traditional stuff on alternate weeks (even though I wasn’t supposed to). As if all that wasn’t enough, I was also ‘required’ to attend curriculum planning meetings for a whole day every single week and sat in many hours of maths assessment discussions which were not in the slightest bit relevant to me whatsoever. I felt that I was being forced to do this as a way of punishing me for being ‘old fashioned’ I am not against planning or meetings but only where they are relevant.

I was coming home exhausted every day and even Shifu could tell that my Qi was low.

Many more things happened throughout the course of the year. But that is all too late for me. I have been replaced. Not by the Principal’s friend as it turned out. But that is another story.

I did wonder about another job. I heard that the lady who replaced me at Shrewsbury was also leaving so I held out for that, but in the end the school decided to save money and not replace her! Then I looked at Northern Thailand and had a successful interview at. British school there. But my kidney doctor advised me that there were significant risks in certain parts of the world which have seen a rise in cases of dengue fever. if I contracted that I would probably die. We decided against that.

After much soul-searching Kevin and I have decided to end the adventure and return to the UK. I will be retiring (early) and after 37 years in the profession am hanging up my date stamp.

I can’t get my pension for another 3 years so I will teach Taiji. I will be setting up a Taiji School called Milun UK and I will be available to teach Qi Gong, Taiji and mindfulness to small group or private classes. It has taken me a while to gather all the documentation and video evidence but today I submitted my application for accreditation as an Instructor at the Tai Chi and Qi Gong Union of Great Britain. If anyone in the north west is interested in learning and improving their health just let me know.

To this end I have started a YouTube channel called MilunUK and I would welcome subscribers as I build up their business.

Things that I am looking forwards to about our return to Blighty:

* seeing family and friends

* stable internet

* having a toasted tea cake (or 2)

* playing as much Taiji as I want every day

Things that I am NOT looking forward to

* the weather

* the political situation

* strikes

* energy prices

* food prices

* NHS waiting times

* the crime rate

It’s going to be a reverse culture shock!

Friends and colleagues here gave me a beautiful farewell party. I couldn’t believe it when I walked in and saw the life-sized poster of me

They made speeches and sang to me. It was lovely. I even got one of the Concordia jackets with my name and year of commencement on it. Such a thoughtful gift.

We played final games of Mahjong.

I am bringing back my automatic table so if any peeps back at home would like to learn how to play. Now that I am retired I have plenty of time.

One first grade class even wrote a song and performed it for me. It was such a special moment and I cried unashamedly.

Back to today. It was the last day of school and a bitter sweet one. So many hugs and photos and flowers and gifts and promises to keep in touch with an amazing set of friends and colleagues. Sad faces from the children who tell me that they will miss me. Conversations with parents who value the work that I have done. Sadder faces from colleagues. I have formed some friendships here that will last a lifetime. Here are some of the people that I care about and who have made my time here so special.

I must remember not to cry because it’s over but to smile because it happened.

Finally, this isn’t goodbye to Shanghai for ever because one of our book suppliers has asked me to do a little consultancy work for them. I will be back!

It is a while since I have blogged with a health update so it is probably time.

For regular readers of this blog you will remember that in August 2021 I had my kidney removed here in China. Then in May 2023 I had a major bleed following a routine thyroid biopsy which resulted in surgery to removed a large blood clot in my neck. At that time I was pumped full of antibiotics as I was on the life threatening register and i believe that they worked. However, unbeknownst to me 16 bags of the drugs also damage your gut lining which can take months and months to repair.

So, when in August only weeks after the whole botched biopsy and subsequent surgery, Kevin inadvertently fed me with some dodgy dumplings, I didn’t havde the internal resources to fight off the infection. I suffered a vicious dose of food poisoning which lasted for 7 days and left me weak and dehydrated. I saw nothing of our mini break to Nanjing except the inside of the hotel room!

A visit to the GP confirmed that I had a massive infection. My blood results showed 142 for the infection marker when in a normal person it should be under 10! Further test results told me that the whole episode had also damaged my remaining kidney. I was now suffering from Chronic Kidney Disease Stage 3 and I was referred to a Nephrologist.

CKD can be divided into 5 stages. Stage 1 is normal kidney functionality and Stage 5 is renal failure and dialysis. I was slap bang in the middle at half way through stage 3 but the bad news was that in all likelihood the damage was permanant. There was a chance that with some dietary and lifestyle changes that I might nudge the numbers back a bit towards Stage 2. Thus, under medical guidance I have been on an extremely strict diet.

I am monitored very regularly by my nephrologist who is very good and explains every thing so well. I am not allowed any alcohol or red meat and I have targets for drinking water each day. I also have a nutritionist who put me on a low protein diet with the intention of removing pressure from my kidney in an attempt to allow it time to heal itself a little. She is a lovely lady but VERY strict.

For the last 6 months I have had to eat the same food every day. I can have one egg in the morning (scrambled) and a bowl of low protein rice congee. I can confirm that low protein rice is not as nice as regular rice! Using the online shopping APP Taobao I thought that I was ordering 5 bags of this special rice but inadvertantly ordered 5 boxes so I have ended up with 25 bags! I have a good supply now so can continue this regime for quite some time!

For lunch and dinner I have the same food just in slightly different quantities. Every thing has to be weighed out carefully to ensure that I can have the correct amounts of plant and animal proteins. For a VERY long time I have not been allowed to eat any meat at all and instead have had a soluable protein powder. Yay! Actually, it doesn’t taste bad… but then again it’s doesn’t taste particularly appetising either. I can have 40g of boiled low protein rice, 40g of sweet potato vermicelli, 80g of mashed sweet potato and 150g of (some) green veg. Try weighing out 40g and you will discover that it is not much.

I can also have 150g of fruit, but that is restricted to blueberries, raspberries or strawberries only. The highlight of my day however, is a cube of Choc Zero (sugar free chocolate) which I had previously thought tasted a bit like washing powder but now is ABSOLUTELY delicious!!!

Not only do I have these dietary restrictions but I am required to send photographic evidence to my dietitian every single meal! Plus a screen shot of my weight each morning. So basically she can tell if I am sticking to it correctly or not!

This diet is tough but it has worked. I have lost some weight and feel better for it.

My ayi helps by cooking in bulk than boxing up what I am allowed into lunch or dinner portions and so fortunately I still get to eat some chinese flavors. Eating at work and home is fine but when invited out I have to ask for a glass of warm water and mix up my protein powder. Then have some fairly disgusting lotus root powder to compensate for the sweet potato carbs. Then weigh out 150g of whatever green veg is on offer. This is hard, especially when I can smell all the delicious dishes that the others are eating…

Funnily enough I haven’t missed alcohol at all but I do get cravings for a nice bread roll or a slice of toast with butter. I am permitted either 80g of natural unsweetened yoghurt per day (which is less that a small tub) or 1/2 a latte. So I do make sure that I have that.

Has it worked? Well yes, but only very very slowly. My kidney numbers were gradually inching towards Stage 2. But then some things happened at work (more on that later) which were quite stressful for me and low and behold I was back to square one! Stress is a bit of a bugger and can affect you in ways that you don’t realise.

For now though, I have improved enough to be allowed to have 40g of either lean chicken, shrimp, salmon or duck to replace the protein powder for one of my meals. This is hugely exciting for me. I am also now permitted 5g of nuts per day but when I went to weigh those it turned out to be only 3 nuts so hardly worth bothering with!!! Even so, I don’t turn my nose up at small mercies.

Facing CKD is scary especially when it is your remaining kidney. But I have to commend the service from the doctors and staff at Sino United. I am monitored and checked regularly. I understand now what I need to do to stay as healthy as possible and I feel much more in control. I do crave a lovely toasted teacake from time to time and if I am honest, I do sneak the occasional treat. But I know that when I cheat it is only cheating myself. The biggest problem that I find is that there are no signs or symptoms for kidney disease so I don’t feel any adverse effects of my ‘cheats’. That makes them more tempting so I need to be super disciplined which is easier some days than others.

I am now the proud owner of a new set of weighing scales which are just amazing. Honestly this technology just blows me away. These scales bluetooth to an app on my phone and they record not just how heavy I am but also my body fat, visceral fat, BMI, heart rate and much more! This is absulutely incredible and will really help me to self manage my condition.

Taiji has also been enormously helpful in managing my stresses and emotions over this last year and I know that I would probably be in a much worst state without it. But more on that in a future blog…